28 December 2010
In Sex We Trust
You are always ‘the other woman’, to how many others, you
just don’t know.
As you drop your defenses to let a man hold your hand, he
begins to rub his tongue over your neck and breathe down your chest there is a
bond, a trust that develops.
It’s the intimacy during sex that leaves us warm with
emotion. You have two bodies lying on
top of each other, senses heightened, emotions alert.
Here for a moment, just one moment, you feel secure, this
is your time where all else is irrelevant, you are the center of his life.
He lets you wrap a red cotton scarf around his head. For then you
can see, he is blind. This is the time he hands sexual control to
you, perfect. He must trust.
ask a partner to not have sex when they refuse.
Yet she still owns that body of his, his hands, that penis as it melts
inside you is still hers. She has
It seems so many men find their wives refusing
touch. Some men must work around that,
learning to live with the frustration.
Others it seems just get angry. I
know a man who refused to spend the night at his house with his wife unless she
relented and they had sex.
yearn for his wife’s attention working around her every need but in the end the
challenge got too much. Outside he
looked for a moment of pleasure with someone he barely knew.
You lie on top of your lover, your tongue sliding down,
down his body. His toes, never before
have you sucked on someone’s toes. He
likes, he feels. You move your way slowly
back up to his mouth.
You place a
chocolate full of liquid onto his lips, he withdraws, momentarily. Trust is broken. But as your tongue follows
the liquid into his mouth to share it’s sweet taste, it comes back. You are together again. Momentarily.
We have no rights, what can we ask for? Another date, another kiss, to meet in public
That trust, how can you trust a man who seeks sex outside
Lying under you his hands move gently down your body, he
must like the feel of your skin under his hands.
The pressure is building as you gently come down on him,
your hips bending over his muscular legs.
You watch as his body, his face goes into rapture.
He can’t see what you
It’s over, that moment of your life finished.
You lie together gently, talking occasionally about
nothing. Lying quietly waiting for
nothing, wanting everything.
As soon as you hear those words you dread, “sorry, is
that the time? Got to go back to work.” That’s the moment those old anxieties
seep into your mind from absolutely nowhere.
For men, it seems it is so much easier. If you were in a room full of women, how many
would you be attracted to? I asked one man.
All of them, he said, unless they were rude. I don’t care if they are overweight or so
much what they look like. I like all
That’s not the case for women! We look for a look, it seems
we look for a companion. Someone who
will take our minds as well as our bodies to a different level. Someone who will still say we are
special. Are we too fussy?
As the door closes, he’s gone, back to work, to his
family, to where?
He is that
someone, even though he is not aware and when that someone comes along how do we
know when it’s okay to trust?
And yet to be honest, it is relative. For some men, does it really matter, probably
not, these are the ones that come, then go…see you later. Yet among the men, there will always be one,
just one who makes your body quiver simply at the thought of his lips on yours.
If dating online is how you met his profile is visible,
just peek, see if he is still checking out others. That pain is shocking, there he is cruising
through his other options. Now you see that
you are a temporary solution to his sexual needs. And yet, next week, you’ll be back in his
arms, if asked.
You open the site, search his name, again, relief, he
hasn’t been on. For one moment you feel
secure. As you close down the site, the
next minute you think, he may be on now.
Yes, you are temporary again.
The hope is that by next week he will realize that you
are the one he wants. He seems to have
stopped. Maybe he’s already found
someone else. You are temporary again.
Then for one moment you think, what is different for
him. You too are having an affair, does
he trust you?